“Someone talked to me when I was grieving about the difference between two kinds of times. Chronos time is the kind of time measured by clocks and calendars. Kairos time refers to the time within which personal life moves forward.
Kairos time is measured by the movement we experience as a result of moments of awakening or realization. Kairos time refers to a deepening process that results from our paying attention to the present moment, a process through which we are drawn inside the movement of our own story.
As we experience the full grieving process, Chronos time is valuable only in that it gives us a span within which to experience our own Kairos time. The passing of days and weeks and months and years does not within itself bring resolution to our conflict. Therefore the calendar time it takes to finish the work of our grieving depends completely on our own Kairos time (which we move through by making our own choices.
That’s why the grieving process is different for every person. Why there’s no right and wrong speed with which people do their grief work and why a cliche like ‘Four seasons of the year brings an end to grieving’ has no meaning to someone who is engaged in authentic grief work.”
Elizabeth Harper Neeld, PH.D/Seven Choices