Written May 7, 2011
Dear Hope,
I just realized that I am afraid of you. I know that sounds strange, but it is the truth. You see, I “hoped” and prayed that Bob would get better, but he didn’t. I “hoped” that we would enjoy long years as empty nesters, but we didn’t. I “hoped” that when the time came for my parents to go to heaven, my husband would be by my side to comfort me and help me through that, but he wasn’t. I “hoped” that Bob and I would grow old together and walk together through our last years as senior citizens, but it didn’t happen.
I don’t trust you, Hope. You can’t be depended on or relied on. I’m afraid that if I start to have just a little glimmer of hope, that “hope” will be dashed all over again and I cannot bear that.
The only thing I DO have hope in is that I KNOW I am going to heaven and I KNOW I will see Bob and my parents again.
So, where do we go from here? How do I get past being afraid of you? How do I have you in my life again?
Reflections From My Porch Swing 
Thanking God for the HOPE we have in Him and for your beautiful, honest writing gift that you share with us! Thank you for sharing your heart, Candy!
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May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Rom 15.13
It’ll come, Candy, God makes all things beautiful in His time. I’m also reminded we’re in a battle and I’ve found the fiercest attacks always center on three things: faith, hope and love. I wish it weren’t so hard, but God is good, as you know. love and prayers, fbh
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