Letter to My Life Dreams

https://i0.wp.com/cdn.sheknows.com/articles/2011/02/woman_reflecting.jpgWritten July, 2010

To my life dreams,

During my teen and beginning adult years, I thought about you.  I wanted to work in a children’s home and little did I know that God was going to give me a children’s home of my own when He brought my husband and 4 daughters into my life.

I absolutely loved being a wife and a mother.  It was hard work and I was always having to tweak it, but it gave me such a sense of fulfillment and contentment.  I was wanted.  I was loved.  I was needed.  What I did mattered.  How I treated my husband affected his life and the life of my daughters.  How I raised my daughters affected not only my husband and I but the world.  I was making a difference.  I was living the dream that God had for me.

After all our daughters left the nest, my husband and I began to dream about his retirement. We began to make plans to become debt free.  Bob’s dream had always been to retire by age 55 and we rejoiced when we reached that goal!  He accomplished a lot with his job as manager of the Emissions Lab at Nissan North America, but I learned after he retired that all that pressure to produce was very stressful for him.  Now he could relax and we could live our dream of finally having some time to ourselves.

That dream was shattered 8 months ago.  We had only 2 years together of retirement.  Suddenly I was no longer his wife.  All those plans that we made were gone.  My job of loving and caring for him ended.   I found myself in a whole new place that I never wanted to go.  I was not given a choice and this is where I am now.

Good-bye life’s dreams as I knew them.  Thank you for all the wonderful blessings that you gave me for over 36 years.  Thank you for the unconditional love that I experienced from the husband who was made just for me.  Thank you for all that you taught me through his life.  Thank you for all the wisdom that you gave me through the things that he showed me.  Thank you for the example that he was not only to me and our 4 daughters but to all the others whose lives he touched.  Thank you most of all for letting me see God in his life.

Now I say hello to the new dreams that God is going to give me for there must be some reason why God left me here on this earth.  It ‘s 2 years later and I still do not know why I am here.  There’s got to be more to my life than waiting to go to heaven.  I want to please God and dream the dreams that He has for me now as I give up the dreams that I lived.

3 responses

  1. Candy, I wept as I read this post. So beautiful, but heartbreaking! I can relate to so many aspects of your letter to my life’s dreams. It would be helpful to know what God’s plan is for us, wouldn’t it?! But for now, we can be content in knowing that He will make it clear to us when He is ready to reveal His will to us. I loved your last sentence:, “I want to please God and dream the dreams that He has for me now as I give up the dreams that I lived”. We were so blessed to have the men God chose for us, to live those dreams with! God won’t let us miss those new dreams as we cling to His Hand in this season of our lives. He is Faithful and He will continue to see us through.

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