All the “Why’s”

“Why, oh Lord, do You reject me and hide Your face from me?” Psalm 88:14

Written November 9, 2010

The story is told by George McDonald of a little girl who ran up to her father and asked, “What is poetry?”  Her father answered, “It is the most beautiful thing in the world.”  Then he took down a bound copy of some of the most beautiful poems and showed it to his daughter, but she was too young to appreciate poetry and was disappointed.

Her father tried to take away her disappointment by reading some of the most beautiful lines, but she could not understand them and went away totally dissatisfied.

As the father sat thinking about it, he began to feel that the lesson was more for him than for the little daughter.  There were many things in his life that he could not understand.  In fact, he was yet to discover any beauty in them at all.  Deep down in his heart, he knew that God’s infinite wisdom had meant those things for his growth and development and one day he would understand it just as his little girl would come to understand, love, and appreciate poetry.

During this time of deep pain and grief in my life, I have asked over and over again, “Why???!!  Why, God??!!  WHY!!!!”  Inside I was saying, “How could You, God??!!  How could You do this to us?  We have spent our lives living for You, obeying You, trusting You!!  We didn’t deserve this!!”  I may as well have said those words aloud because God knows my heart and my thoughts.

I have come to the realization that no matter what answers God would give me to my “WHY?!” questions, none of them would be good enough for me because all I want is my husband back with me well and healthy.

Just yesterday, one day short of a year, I was able to see more clearly that my husband won on the morning he died.  He WON! In all of my grief and pain, I could not understand that and did not want to see the truth, but now I am beginning to see it for what it really is.  I never thought that would happen – ever.  What does this world have to offer in comparison to heaven?  Nothing!  My husband really WON!

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4 responses

  1. Candy,

    I agree that no answers to the why questions would ever really be helpful. I believe it is our job to trust that God knows what He is doing within His big-picture plan and has our ultimate good in mind. I am so glad that God helped you to see that your husband won on that darkest day (for you). It is a wonderful gift to know that our husbands are winners, enjoying the best “prize” ever!

    Hugs,
    Renee’

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  2. I so agree with you both. We may not know ‘why’ but we know ‘what’.
    To even hear ‘July 15th’ hurt so much the past few months because I saw that as the date of my husband’s death…but really, it’s his new eternity birthday!

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    • Renee & Linda, wouldn’t it be good it we could get to the place where instead of thinking of the date of our husbands’ death as just that, we could actually think of it as their eternal life birthday and actually feel joyful about it. I’m not there yet.

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  3. Since our the accident happened on one of our son’s 3rd birthday, I have always referred to it as daddy’s heavenly birthday. Yes, this hasn’t always been easy, but I want my son to try to keep that day positive and without any unwarranted guilt.

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