The Wall of Loneliness

There’s a wall I cannot pass through. Each time I come to it,

I veer away and fill the time with people and frantic activity.

The wall is loneliness. Profound loneliness.

His absence resonates through everything. I can taste it,

touch it, hear it. Loneliness in a friendly crowd is so bitter.

I’m forced to realize that more people won’t take away this

loneliness or ease this pain. I’m silent. But inside, it is one long

drawn-out scream.

AURORA WINTER/From Heartbreak to Happiness


3 responses

  1. My prayer for all our wounded, broken hearts is that the walls of loneliness will come down gently, but powerfully, as the Lord’s Presence fills the void with Himself… the best and only heart surgeon. Healing and Joy are coming. We are never alone.


  2. On New Years Eve I felt loneliness with a degree of pain worse than I had yet experienced – and I was sat in the midst of a group of lovely Christians – all married couples- who a year ago I would have totally related to but who now seem to accentuate my loss. A square peg in a round hole. I have totally lost my place in these here-on-earth relationships and know that I now have to branch out – but where to and who with? Singles, divorced and widows? Am I now to settle on the fringes? I am 8 months into this singled out life and the agonising grief and pain are very acute as I write, perhaps because of the dawning realisation that this terrible nightmare is for real. I still can hardly believe it has happened.


    • Jacquie,

      I don’t know how long it takes if ever for a widow to feel like she fits in a group no matter whether they are married, singles, divorced or widows. I know that I feel the best fit with other widows and like a square peg in a round hole with anyone else. I am on my 3rd year in this journey. It may be that widows of different personalities (I am an introvert) may feel differently or adjust more quickly.

      You are very early on in your journey and I would venture to say that you are probably still experiencing the “widow fog” as we call it. Your pain is still that deep, deep gut-wrenching heart breaking 24/7 pain. I can tell you that it does get better. I didn’t believe that when other widows told me that early on, but I have found it to be true.



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