The “Pa” Shaped Hole

One of the myriad of things that grieves me the most about the loss of my husband aside from the fact that our four daughters no longer have their Dad is the fact that our now 5 grandsons and 1 granddaughter no longer have their “Pa”.  They were 11, 9, 7, 5, 3 the day he went to heaven.  Neither Bob nor I knew that one of our daughters was also pregnant at that time with her first child.  That grandson never even got to meet him or experience his laughter and teasing or get to ride with him around our big yard on his John Deer riding mower.

After raising four daughters Bob was thrilled to have all those grandsons.  He had plans to teach them how to repair small engines and keep their lawn mowers and weed eaters in tip top shape.  He also wanted to share with them the many things he had learned about God in his life.  Elizabeth was the apple of his eye.  He would look at her and laugh and call her “Little Leah” because she looks and acts so much like her mother Leah.

In the last 29 months I have watched these children grow and mature and think about how very proud of them Bob would be.  Their parents are doing such of good job of teaching and instructing them and they are all so very pleasant to be around.  They are respectful, interesting, charming, and just plain fun.  Having them give me hugs when I arrive and depart warms my heart.  The most wonderful words in the world are their “Love you!”.

I think about how much Bob would have enjoyed watching them and seeing the persons that they are becoming.  I also think about what these children are missing by not having him in their lives.  My grandfathers were very important in shaping my character.  They gave me much unconditional love and guidance not only in the words that they spoke but the way that they lived their lives.  So many times I wrap myself up in my memories of them and feel such comfort and carefree innocence as I look back. I wonder how God is going to fill that “Grandfather” shaped void in the lives of these grandchildren.


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