Pastor Jon Courson shares how at the age of 29 he lost his wife and a son in a car accident:
Two days later I tucked my three little children ages 1, 2, and 5 into bed. I went out to our front room, sat on the couch, and said to God, “Why?! Lord, why?!” It was not a fist shaking at God “WHY!!!”, but a heartfelt, deep grief “Why?!”
The Lord spoke to me in such an absolute way that I knew it was the Lord . HE said, “Johnny, I have promised you a peace that passes understanding. Haven’t I given that to you these past days?”
I said, “Yes, Lord, You really have given me a peace that passes….I can’t explain it. It’s just beyond….You have.”
And then HE said, “Johnny, never seek peace that comes FROM understanding.” And I knew that was huge. I wrote it down and I’ve talked about it over the years.
Never seek peace that comes from understanding. And I understood inately if the Lord tried to give us a peace that comes FROM understanding by answering the “WHYS”, we would argue, “Well, ok, but” or “What about this?” or “Why couldn’t You have done it this way?” The Lord says, “I’m going to bypass your puny, limited, dinky little brain that you’ll just argue with me. You’ll never get it anyway. I’m going to give you a peace that PASSES understanding. It’s gonna be in your heart.”
I personally can say that when the ICU doctor walked into that ICU Conference Room the morning of November 10th, 2009, and said to me, “As soon as we started the procedure, your husband’s heart stopped. We’ve been working on him for 15 minutes with no response“, I immediately for a few moments experienced that peace that PASSES understanding that I’d been reading about in scriptures all of my life. And I knew that I was experiencing it because the very first words out of my mouth were, “It’s okay. Let him go. I KNOW where he is.”
Ten minutes later the nurse that had been with Bob when he died came to me and said, “I’ve seen a lot back here, but I want you to know that he had peace on his face when we told him what procedure we were going to do and he has such a look of peace on his face now.”
Am I willing to go God’s way only if God goes MY way? Or am I willing to go God’s way trusting and believing it’s THE best way regardless of the loss of my husband and my identity as the wife of Bob Feathers? Are you?