Without Jesus

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“For we are God’s own handiwork, recreated in Christ Jesus, born anew  that we may do those good works which God predestined for us (taking paths that He prepared ahead of time), that we should walk in them (living the life which He prearranged and made ready for us to live).” Ephesians 2:10

If you would have told me before I got married that I would be a widow at age 57, it would have frightened me and I might not have taken that huge step to marry the love of my life.  For you see, I am not a risk taker.  Just think of all the wonderful things that I would have missed out on if I had known what the future held for us………knowing the love of a man who loved me unconditionally,  4 beautiful daughters and 4 wonderful sons-in-law who all truly love and serve the Lord with their whole hearts, 6 earthly grandchildren and 1 precious one in heaven, seeing God provide for us time after time after time and seeing firsthand the power of God in so many ways.

Without Jesus my husband and I would have never made it through those 5 ½ years after he received that horrible news that he was carrying something around in his body that would destroy him.  Without Jesus, we would not have been able to enjoy those last years together tucking away every good memory that came along so that later on I would have something to take out, carefully examine, and cherish.

Without Jesus Bob would not have been half the man that he was in those last weeks of his life showing me more courage and strength than I had ever seen when his body had been so very strong and full of life.  Without Jesus, he would not have been able  in his tears to focus by faith on Who was there with him and the promise of what glories were ahead.  Without Jesus, he would not have had that look of such peace on his face before and after he went to heaven.

Without Jesus I would not have been able to look at that ICU doctor after he told me that my husband’s heart had stopped and say, “It’s okay.  Let him go.  I KNOW where he is”.  Without Jesus I would not have in the midst of the shock of the very worst news in my life experienced the peace that passes all understanding .

Without Jesus I would not be able to get out of this bed every morning,  face my circumstances, and simply go on.

Without Jesus I would not have any comfort whatsoever.  I would not absolutely KNOW that my husband is in heaven and one day I will see him again.

Without Jesus, I do not know how a widow can survive.

Marvin Sapp sang this after his wife went to heaven.


4 responses

  1. Beautiful, Candy. I am going to start my own without Jesus list for Eddie’s Homegoing anniversary in June. I have taken on the JOY philosophy: Jesus Only You! Loving you more everyday, sister.


  2. Apryl, we have to do what we have to do in order to walk this journey now without our husbands. I have a journal on my kitchen island where I write down things that I am thankful for. I also have different inspirational sayings printed out that I put in my bathroom, on my refrigerator, and upstairs in my bonus room where I spend most of my time – reminders that help me keep moving.


  3. Candy, I’ve been reading your blog for awhile now. Thank you for sharing your walk through this difficult season of life called widowhood. I have closely identified with so many of your writings. They have been such an encouragement to me. The first anniversary of my dear husband’s homegoing is in a few weeks. Thank you again for letting God speak to others like me through you.


    • First of all, Janet, I want to say how very sorry I am for the loss of your husband. You are very early on in your grief journey and I’m glad if God used something that He says to me to speak to you as well. The 1st anniversary is a hard one. I was told to make specific plans for that day and I would encourage you to do so as well. It will help. If you have any questions about that, please email me at candyfeathers@gmail.com, and we’ll talk further.


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