Crushed Violets

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

~ Mark Twain

I believe that one of the hardest things a widow has to deal with is forgiving others for not living up to our expectations.  We have  thoughts about how we want friends, family, in-laws, and church family to respond to us after the loss of our husband.  When they don’t live up to those expectations, it deeply wounds us and we find ourselves experiencing a lot of anger.

This hurt and anger takes time to deal with.  It’s a process that we have to go through.  We have to decide whether or not we are going to allow those disappointments to fuel our anger and drive us to become a bitter widow.

If we decide to forgive those people for not living up to our expectations, then we go through another process – forgiveness – and that process will be an on-going one. 

When we forgive, we are releasing the sweet smell of violets on the heel that has crushed us.  We are allowing what has hurt us to become a sweet fragrance released not only in our hearts but in our lives.  We give off such a sweet odor that others desire to be around us.  We become such a lovely picture of a widow to others that not only glorifies and honors our husbands, but glorifies and honors God.

Forgiveness….like the smell of crushed violets…on the feet that trampled over them.

~  Melody Carlson/RIVER’S SONG