What Are You Feeling?

“Grief must be felt intensely, until it becomes part of your soul.  You have to resist the distracting pressures of those around you.  Only then can you take a deep breath and try to let it go.  Some days are better than others.  By giving yourself permission to hold onto your grief, you will be giving yourself permission to let go of your grief when you know you are ready.

Some people do not allow themselves time to grieve.  They are so busy doing the required paperwork for lawyers, accountants and insurance personnel, caring for their children and being supportive to everyone else, that they do not stop to feel.  Sometimes people need permission to grieve.

The hardest thing to accomplish after a death is to relearn to trust yourself and your very own feelings.  There is the temptation to ‘intellectualize’ your feelings by telling yourself how you ‘should’ be feeling, instead of just feeling.  There is no right and no wrong when it comes to feelings.  Feelings are just feelings.  Don’t be afraid of yours.  Never assume an ‘expert’ knows more about your feelings than you do.  Resist the pressures of others.  Don’t rush anything, especially yourself.  You don’t have to hold up the rest of the world anymore.  You can cry now.  Don’t worry about imposing on your friends.  Find some people to cry with.”

Linda Feinberg/I’m Grieving As Fast As I Can


One response

  1. So on point for me. I have to turn off the intellectualizing and the sitcom happily ever after conversations and just be sad sometimes


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