Father, you know that this earthly Father’s Day is a hard one for me now that not only my Dad but my husband aren’t here to honor and give gifts and words of affirmation and thanks. So, I thought maybe I could in some way celebrate with You today.
I thank You for the many blessings known and unknown that You have heaped upon my life. You lovingly placed me into a family where both parents were following You and taught me to love and honor You. You allowed me to get a taste of people from all over the world when our family moved from South Texas to Alberta, Canada for almost 2 years. As I grew up, I had enough respect of You instilled into my life to keep me from making poor choices and thus helping me to have a happy childhood, tween, teen, and young adult years.
You knew how quickly I would fall in love with a man and how devastated I would be if that kind of relationship didn’t work out. So, You sheltered me and kept me out of the dating scene until I met my husband to be at age 19. I fell for him very quickly and thankfully he fell for me as well and became my one and only. We weren’t perfect people, but I thank You for what I felt was a terrific marriage for over 36 years. I always felt so loved by him and never ever doubted his love, faithfulness or commitment to me.
Thank you for blessing us with 4 daughters who are not only beautiful on the inside, but are beautiful on the outside. You knew how much I missed by not having sisters and how badly I wanted to have all girls. You gave me that desire of my heart and I am so grateful for my girls and for the relationship that I have with each one of them. They are each different in personality and bring something different to the table. Now that they are all grown and married, not only am I their mother, but they are my friends and friends that I would have chosen for myself. They have wisdom far beyond what I had at their ages and always have such good advice for me. There is no way that I can thank You enough for giving them to me and for having them in my life…..especially now. Yes, they all have busy lives, but I know if I ever need them, I can call them.
You’ve given me 4 wonderful sons-in-law that are good husbands to my girls and good fathers to my grandchildren. How very blessed I am to have 4 such strong men in this family who love my daughters and their children, are good providers for their family, and who would help me if I asked for their help. Never do I have to be concerned that my girls and grandchildren aren’t being cared for in the right way. Never do I have to be concerned that God is not the head of their homes. How very blessed I am!
My grandchildren all light up my life. Each and every one of them are so well-behaved and polite. All 6 of them are getting good home training and spiritual training that makes such a difference in their lives. They are a pleasure to be with and I love their hugs and words of blessing to me. My Georgia grandsons just spent 2 days with me and as they were leaving this morning, one of them told me that he wished he lived here in Tennessee so that he could be near family. The other one told his mother that he was going to miss Nana. There are no sweeter words to hear from than those. Thank You for that blessing, Father.
You know how much I am struggling with trusting You now. I truly never thought I would ever be in this place spiritually – especially after accepting You as my personal Savior when I was 9 years old. Thank you for not being disappointed in me because You knew before You formed me that this would be my reaction when three of my loved ones went to heaven so close together. You know my heart and know that I cannot and will not turn my back on You even in this hard time. Thank you for providing for me each and every hour of the day. Thank you for loving me in spite of my weak faith and for never ever leaving me even though so many times I cannot feel Your presence.
I know that You aren’t ashamed of me even though I’m so ashamed that my faith isn’t stronger. I expect perfection from myself in every area and I’m not nearly reaching my own expectations now. But, You know my frame and remember that I am dust. I can’t pick up the pieces of my shattered heart and faith, but like one of my daughters told me the other day, those are old pieces and don’t need to be picked up. She believes that You will rebuild both my heart and faith with new pieces.
I do love you, Heavenly Father. I truly do love You. As messed up as I am help me not to be so heavenly minded and focused on what I don’t have that I forget what I do have and am no earthly good. May my life as broken as it is somehow glorify You and may others in time be able to see that from ashes comes Your beauty.