I Will Yet Praise Him

Continued excerpt from I Still Believe by Jeremy Camp:

I was asked to sing “I Still Believe” in lots of different settings.  Many times I would find myself crying out beforehand, “Lord, I don’t FEEL like worshiping You today.  I don’t FEEL like saying ‘I still believe.'”

Most of the time, I didn’t want to sing the song!  I was struggling to believe the words that were coming from my lips.  I just had to be honest with the Lord–He knew I was a reluctant participant in the whole thing–and let Him do what He wanted as I shared the music.

My journey truly was just beginning, though.  I had my share of really rough days.  Different triggers would release a rush of emotions: watching a movie with some kind of grief in it–I remember weeping in the theater during a war movie–seeing a young couple holding hands and laughing together, noticing a mom and dad playing with a child at a park.

Worse than any of that, I felt my heart starting to get a little bit hard.  Anger and coldness slipped back in as if they wanted to stay a while.  I didn’t like it, but I sensed that facing the anger welling up from within would be a necessary part of the grieving process.

Another song written by Jeremy during this time wasWalk by Faith”.

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