Excerpt from THE TENDER SCAR by widower Richard Mabry, MD –
The death of a spouse takes away the opportunity for daily conversation. Whether trivial or profound, those conversations have been shared for years. Finding an acceptable outlet and substitute is difficult but necessary.
Sorry to bend your ear so much. I talk with the kids almost daily, but I just don’t feel I can unload on them every time we talk. I have friends who call me, but none of them know me like you do, and I can’t really unburden myself to them about some things. I miss Cynthia so…I’d give anything to talk with her again. (Author’s email to friend)
I don’t know how many more of these letters will come. I’m emailing a lot of folks, but some of this I’m not ready to share with anyone. I guess that’s what I miss the most–the fact that for so long we were essentially one person, and sharing didn’t always involve talking. Just being together was enough. And when we did need to talk, we were always there for each other. (Author’s letter to wife Cynthia after her death)
The grief that stems from the death of a spouse is even more difficult to endure because we’ve lost the very one to whom we turned for so many years to talk out our disappointments and calamities.
Oh Candy this is so true isn’t it – even on his worst days Ken would always want to know how things were with me and would be there to hear – I miss that………
Linda, I so miss that as well. Bob and I wouldn’t even have to say anything to know what the other was thinking.
I miss my husband so much. more especially this July acts as a reminder of July 2011. it is the last month we actively did things together. we went our last holiday together we laughed together, we ……together etc.
Gertrude, you are early on in your grief. It’s 2 years and almost 9 months for me and I still miss my husband SO MUCH every day. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts.