What About Remarriage?

A large percentage of widows who are under the age of 50 will remarry.  No matter what age you are, here are some questions to ask yourself if you are considering remarriage.

1.  Do you have the same interests or values?

2.  If there are children, how do they feel about your remarrying?

3.  Is your prospective mate understanding?

4.  Does your prospective mate listen to you attentively and give you a chance to express your opinions and feelings?

5.  Is your prospective mate open-minded rather than rigid and opinionated?

6.  Is your prospective mate willing to bend and compromise or does he insist on his own way?

7.  What is the financial status of each of you?

8.  Should you have a prenuptial agreement and new wills?

9.  What is the physical health of each of you?

10.  Do you know the personal habits of the other person and are they something you can live with?

11.  What are your religious beliefs?

12.  What will be your living arrangements?

13.  Do either of you have family or financial obligations?

14.  If you have grown children, what will be your contact with them after you remarry?

15.  How will you manage family traditions and holidays?

16.  Have each of you dealt with your own personal issues and baggage from the past?

17.  Have you sought any kind of counseling separately or together about your prospective marriage?

18.  Have you both taken the necessary time to really get to know each other?

19.  Is your prospective mate willing to live with the “other man in your life” and all of your memories?

20.  Have you discovered just who you are as an unmarried woman and become comfortable with that?

21.  What will be the ramifications of your social security income and/or your health insurance should you remarry?

(#’s 1-15 taken from Coping With Life After Your Mate Dies)

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4 responses

  1. This would be very helpful to anyone contemplating remarriage. I think number 20 is especially important. We need to know who we are … just the Lord and us!. Thanks for posting this, Candy. I hope this finds you well.
    Hugs, Renee’

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  2. I am a 35 year old widow. My husband passed away Dec 22 2011 from cancer he was my high school sweetheart and I am very lonely and lost. I never dated anyone but my husband and it scares me. I have 2 children to think about but I know that life is way to short to be so lonely. My father passed away when I was 12 years old from cancer as well and it was very hard for me to watch my mom remarry but now walking the same path I would of never wanted her not to. I pray every day for patience and put my trust in God but I really struggle with the plan he has chooses for me and my kids how could his plan involve me losing my dad and husband as well to horrible cancer. I look at this list and pray for Gods guidance.

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    • Heidi, I am so very sorry for your loss. I, too, never dated anyone but my husband. So, I can imagine just how that afraid you are. I also understand why you are struggling. You have been through so much at a young age. May you continue to take one day at a time for that is truly all that we can do – especially so early on in your grief. Thank you for sharing your heart here and for reading.

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