Pie Crust Promises

Pie crust promises are promises that are easily made and easily broken.  How many widows have been given those kinds of promises after their husbands have died?  I would venture to say that most of us have.

I’m going to be right here to walk with you through this.”  “We’ll have you over to eat next week.”  “I’ll check on you tomorrow.”  “I’ll help you any way that I can.”  Those are just a few of the pie crust promises that a widow hears.

Now not only is she dealing with the deep pain of the loss of her husband, but she finds herself experiencing feelings of great anger because of all these broken promises.  In most cases she may never hear again from the person or persons who voiced those words to her during the most vulnerable time in her life.  She had expectations about how she was going to be treated by others and those expectations have not been met.  That widow now finds herself greatly wounded.

So, how does she deal with all those pie crust promises?  The first thing she needs to do is to realize that she cannot control what another person does and choose to forgive the person whether they ask for forgiveness or not.  Then she has to let go of those pie crust promises and the person who made them.  Easy to do?  No, not at all.  In fact, depending on her personality type, it may be very hard to do.  But, in order for a widow to move forward without bitterness, this is a decision that she must make and it may be a process.  If she finds herself hiding those hurts in her heart and taking them back out to go over again, then she has to forgive and let go again and again.

Why should a widow be willing to forgive and let go of those who have wounded her deeply?  Because it is so important for her to keep the communication lines wide open between herself and God.  She’s got to have all of the guidance and wisdom from Him now.

Think back to the time before you became a widow.  Did you really understand how a widow feels?  How many times did you make pie crust promises?

2 responses

  1. And those promises can hurt very deeply when they crumble. Unlike a pie crust that should be flaky and buttery soft, promises should never flake and crumble. Sigh…..I think we’ve all had many pie crust promises made. Forgiveness isn’t easy, nor is forgetting. God’s promises never flake and crumble though. Thank you, Candy, for this today. Hugs to you, dear friend!


    • Yes, Sandra. Those crumbled promises deeply wound a widow. No, forgiveness isn’t easy and I don’t know if we will ever forget because those promises were made in the most vulnerable time of our life. I find that forgiveness is an on-going process. Thank God that He is steady and never changing. We couldn’t make it through this without His presence in our lives whether we feel it or not.


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