Giving Myself Permission

During a counseling session a woman was told to give herself permission to be okay.  That really spoke to my heart.  The more I have thought about it, the more I see how necessary it is to do that.

Giving myself permission to be okay would move me a step beyond acceptance.  I know that my husband Bob knew that dealing with his moving on to heaven without me was going to be very difficult.  I know that because of the question he asked me a few days before his heart suddenly stopped – “Are you going to be alright?”  I had no answer for that question and that in itself was the answer.
Giving myself permission to be okay would be my way of answering Bob’s question with a “Yes”.  If he were here, it would be my assurance to him that I will be able to continue on with my life without him.

Giving myself permission to be okay is also saying that it’s okay for me to find joy again and to be happy with the life of a widow that God has given me

Giving  myself permission to be okay would be saying that God is enough for me and that I am trusting Him to walk beside me and take care of me and my needs for the rest of my earthly days.

What does giving yourself permission to be okay look like to you?

4 responses

  1. Oh, Candy, this speaks volumes to my heart. I’ve never thought of giving myself permission to be okay before but it sure would alleviate a LOT of the guilt that I have over feeling happiness and joy again. Every since I scattered Michael’s ashes a few weeks ago I’ve felt like I turned a corner but was having such guilt about that because I also felt like I was leaving him behind. For me, giving myself permission to be okay means ridding myself of the guilt that I carry about forging ahead with the life God has given me and actually making something of that life and enjoying that life. Thank you so much, dear sister for speaking to my heart so loudly today. I feel much freedom in those words!!!! I love you!


    • Sandra, I had never thought of doing that either and it was profound when I heard it. What is ironic is that as soon as our husbands stepped into the presence of Jesus, they had no regrets or guilt about leaving us. Yet, we find ourselves carrying the guilt of leaving them behind. Crazy when you think about it. Thanks for reading and for taking the time to comment.


  2. Candy, I am so glad you have reached this important place of freedom. It is critical to our healing process. God bless you and all the lives you touch through your beautiful and insightful writing. I am always blessed when I visit you here!


  3. Renee, every widow is different and has a different story. So, reaching the point of being able to give ourselves permission to be okay may come sooner for some widows and later for others. Thank you for your kind words and for reading and taking the time to comment.


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