God’s Will or My Will?

This week I have had 2 conversations with widows concerning the question that we all ask ourselves – “What is my purpose now?”  This is something that I have spent much time thinking about.  For awhile, I struggled with trying and trying to find it, but in the last few months I have decided that this is something that is revealed to me one day at a time.

God’s purpose for me should be my purpose.  Think about it.  God made me and with my creation He included a plan and a purpose.  God also gave me a will.  Now I will be the first to admit that I am strong willed and I don’t like His purpose and plan for me at this time in my life because it is not what I want.  There’s my will coming into play!

I think that I know better than God what is best for me.  How ludicrous is that kind of thinking, though!  I know better than God?  I think not!  But, that’s the way that my willful heart and mind thinks in a time like this.

I have to make the choice daily to surrender my will to His plans and purposes.  Is it easy? No!  It’s hard because I want my way just like a 2 year old child.

Think of it like this.  A master potter takes a lump of clay and puts it on his potter’s wheel with a plan and purpose in mind for it.  He begins to turn the wheel and work that clay making it into his own creation.  But the clay has a stubborn will and begins to question the potter about his intended purpose.  The clay doesn’t want to be a water jar.  It wants to be a beautiful dainty teacup.

The potter (God) knows that the water jar would have more purpose and help more people.  The teacup would have a it’s purpose as well, but water jar would affect more people’s lives.  Yet the clay refuses to be formed into that water jar and never becomes the best that it could be according to the Potter’s plan and purpose.

You and I can kick and stomp our feet refusing to accept God’s plan and purpose for us.  And God will allow us to do that because He gave us a will to choose His way or our way.  IF we really believe Him, though, we will bow our will to His will trusting that even when we don’t like something in our lives, His plan and purpose IS the best – even when it hurts us and we can’t understand what He is doing.

This is a hard thing to do.  For me, it is a moment by moment choice.  Am I able to do it all the time?  No, because my will gets in the way.  Yet, I know that I must continue to surrender my will to His in order to be the best daughter of God that I can be.  Today is my husband Bob’s 3rd birthday in heaven.  During all of our married life we were never apart for longer than a week.  I never thought I could survive this long without him.  I remember the moment we drove into the cemetery for his graveside service.  The verse that popped into my head was I Thessalonians 4:13 – “But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those which are asleep, that you sorrow not even as those who have no hope.”  I am surviving through the HOPE that is in me – my HOPE in Christ.