Lessons From My GPS

One of the first purchases I made after the death of my husband was a GPS.  I have always been directionally challenged, but never needed to be concerned about that because my husband was great at finding our way around even before a GPS was ever available.

On Thanksgiving afternoon I made what was to have been a 1 1/2 drive alone from one place to another.  Now I had made this same drive a few days earlier.  I programmed my destination into my GPS and began to listen to the voice as it gave me directions.  I noticed immediately that I was not taking the same route that I had taken earlier.  My first thought was that perhaps the GPS knew something that I didn’t know and I continued on in the direction that it was taking me.

I felt some fear and trepidation as I drove on roads through Pennsylvania that I had never seen before.  I had a choice to make.  Either I could trust that this little device knew where it was taking me or I could turn around and try to find my way back using the route that I had taken a few days before.  The problem with turning around was that it was going to add more time to my drive and I wanted to get to my destination before dark. So, I decided that I would continue on this new destination that I was given trusting that it was the right one.  Despite the uncertainty that I was feeling, I also felt peace that I was not alone in this journey because God has promised that He will never leave me nor forsake me.

Because I spend so much of my time as a widow alone, I am able to better hear and recognize when God is showing me something.  Many times when my mind is going and I find myself with another question, a verse that I have learned will pop into my mind giving me the answer to my question.  Then there are other times that I am fully aware of God using something to make Himself real to me.  This was one of those times and as I was driving along those back country roads of PA not knowing where I was or where exactly my GPS was taking me, the thought came to me that this is just how I am supposed to be trusting God.

Why do I find it harder to trust that God is working everything out for good in my life than I do to trust that my GPS is taking me where I need to go?  That’s the question that I was asking myself as I was driving.  Why is it easier for me to trust a man-made machine than an all-knowing Almighty God who created me with a specific plan for my life?  Why I am so afraid to completely trust that His plan is the very best for me?

When I first got my GPS, I found it hard to really trust it because I like to know my destination.  I like to know in advance and have experience with knowing exactly where I am going.  It was difficult for me to sit back as I was driving, give control over to a little machine, and take one step at a time toward an unknown destination.  I find that this is just as hard for me in life – especially now that I have no life partner going through this journey with me.  It is God and me and I can’t physically see God.

The longer I use my GPS, the more I am learning to trust it and the longer I walk alone with God, the more I am learning about trusting Him.  Losing three of the dearest people in my life – my husband and both parents – has stripped me of my co-dependency on them forcing me to become dependent on God and God alone.

What has God used in your life as a widow to teach you some new things?