In August 2010 Brian Kluth became a widower with three teenagers after 8 years of caring for his wife. Brian talks about what it is like to be single and dating again on Chris Fabry Live/Moody Radio. In 2011 Brian started a group called Christian Singles in Denver that is not only for people in the Denver area, but can be viewed online. Here is the link to his story.
http://www.moodyradio.org/radioplayer.aspx?episode=103084&hour=1
Reflections From My Porch Swing 
Do you want another romantic relationship? I am so lonely but I cannot reach out to other men at all. I only want my husband back. What do others say? The thought of a romantic relationship scares me to death. Yet, how will I ever conquer this loneliness?
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No. I have no desire whatsoever for another romantic relationship. I posted this for those widows who do.
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Carol, each widow feels differently about remarriage. Most widows 50 and older do not remarry, but many widows younger than 50 do remarry. There are so many things to consider whether starting a new relationship or considering remarriage. I, personally, do not have the energy to deal with all of those variables and I do not want to take a risk of losing another spouse.
My experience after being a widow now for 3 years is that dealing with loneliness is done one day at a time. My daughters are all grown and married. So, I am living alone for the very first time in my life. Loneliness is a part of my everyday life. I do a lot of talking out loud to God.
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Thanks, Candy. I feel the same and I don’t want my loneliness to push me into a relationship as some type of quick fix. But I am so envious of other widows who have married again. I know 2 of them and they are so happy. I guess that I just miss companionship. I’ll take your cue and speak to God about it. I end up talking to my husband but I need to speak to God who is my spouse now.
I love your blog. It has gotten me through some very hard days. I think that I’m looking for an answer that isn’t there. Building a new life is hard work and takes so much effort. Right now I haven’t got the strength to tackle it. I have been reading a book of reflections and it says over and over that sometimes God is telling us to just do nothing.. to just be… and let Him work through us in His own time.
Carol
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I know what you mean, Carol. I get weary in this journey. I expended a lot of energy trying and trying to find answers to all of my questions. I finally realized that even if God did tell me why, I wouldn’t like His answer.
So, then I moved on to try to figure out what I’m supposed to be doing now and expended a lot of energy doing that. Then I realized that I am to just do whatever God brings into my life each day. Looking forward right now is too exhausting and could be scary.
I had an older lady ask me a few weeks ago what I am going to do with the rest of my life. No one has ever asked me that point blank and I was taken aback. The first words out of my mouth were, “I’m taking it one day at a time.” I know that is what’s best for me. The only planning ahead that I do is for little trips I allow myself to take every few months. I just need that in order to get away and have a different perspective. I need to seem that life goes on and I can be a part of that.
I hope this helps you in some way, Carol. This is a hard and exhausting journey, but we are not walking (or sometimes crawling) it alone. Whenever I was going through something hard my Mama always told me that God was going to use it to help someone else. If my blog has helped you, I am most thankful for that and very blessed. Thank you for reading and sharing your heart.
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