Who’s Taking the Lead?

Have you given much thought to whom you are allowing to lead now that you are without your spouse?  When a couple is dancing through marriage, their dancing is structured, controlled, full of intensive attention and effort, and full of moments that expose both the superb or inadequate, elegant or awkward, expert or senseless.  Yet, as the couple works together to synchronize and perfect their marriage dance, they find it not only challenging but also exhilarating!

The one thing that is most important in the marriage dance is the connection between the husband and wife.  Because the husband is the leader and the wife is following his lead, the wife has to drop her defenses and allow her husband to occupy her space.  In order to do this the wife has to let go of her control and trust her husband.

But what happens to the dance once the leader is gone?  Whom do you allow to take the lead? Sadly, some widows feel so lost and alone in their grief without their husband that they too quickly jump into a new relationship just to have someone take the lead.  Many times later on they see that filling that position too soon was a mistake.

What would it be like for a widow to really allow God to take the lead?  How much easier is it to be the follower when you have the perfect One taking your hands, holding you close, and leading you across the rest of your dance floor of life?

But, I have such trust issues with God now!  He didn’t answer my prayers the way that I wanted Him to!  He gave me the most wonderful husband I could ever have and then took him away much too quickly!  How can I really trust that He is going to fill that place my husband left empty and take me to places that are happy, safe and peaceful?” you may ask.

Yet, you trusted Him enough to accept His gift of eternal life.  How can you now not trust Him to take you in His arms and guide you through the rest of your life?  It all boils down to a choice that you and I have to make.  Just as you chose to allow your husband to take the lead in your marriage dance, you now have to choose to allow God to take the lead. You may be able to allow Him to fill that position overnight.  It may take some time to rebuild your relationship with Him.  But, who better to replace your husband than God!

4 responses

  1. This was wonderful Candy! Very encouraging and uplifting, to allow God to take the place of our husband for the rest of our life here. My dear husband told me, before he left this earthly existence, that God would be a better husband than he had been. It was hard to hear at the time, hard to take, but I am trusting God more and more each day and He is filling my life with His love, peace and healing.

    Thank you again for this post.



  2. I also am trying to allow God to fill the roll of spouse for me. When I work at it, It is wonderful but when I allow my grief to come surging back in it is very difficult to find room to allow God into my heart. I need to keep praying but it becomes such hard work for me and I am weary of all of this grief.
    Candy, I am in such need of your encouragement right now!


    • Carol. I, too, find myself struggling with letting go and than hanging on again. At three and a half years now for me there is more letting to, but when something troubling of worrisome arises, I long for my earthly husband. You and I are going to make it one stoe at a time. For now, just breathe.


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