Belonging

Recently I bought myself an inspirational day brightener by Holly Gerth called “You’re Already Amazing” to remind myself that I have value and worth. Today’s reading talked about the woman that had been brought to Jesus after having been caught in the act of sin. The leaders angrily surrounded her speaking accusatory words and were ready to stone her. Jesus “stooped down and wrote in the dust” with his finger. The last sentence of the reading said:

“In the dust of our hearts, I picture Jesus writing truth that covers those words…

Loved        Accepted        Chosen     

MINE

One of the greatest losses of a widow is that KNOWING that she belongs explicitly to someone. Not the kind of belonging in the sense that she is a slave bound to her husband, but that sense of being so loved by a man that he has chosen her specifically out of everyone else in the world to be his best friend, his lifetime companion, his wife to love, honor and cherish for all of their lives. My husband was not what anyone would imagine to be a romantic man, but he often very lovingly with a look of delight in his eyes would say to me, “You are mine and I am yours”. I cherished those words because not only did I love him and desire to be his, but I was so happy to belong to him. It gave me a sense of being a precious jewel that was highly valued, greatly loved and most carefully protected. There is no feeling like that in the world.

I grieve now that I no longer belong to anyone in that way. There’s an awareness of great emptiness that comes when that phrase in your wedding vows “till death do us part” happens and the two who are one become torn. Yet, when I read those words at the end of the page for today in my day brightener, I felt a warmth steal over my heart and tears coursed down my cheeks. For you see, I DO still belong to someone. I belong to God. I could hear God say,

“Candy, you are still loved. You are accepted. I chose you especially before the foundations of the world. You are MINE.”

No, that sense of an earthly belonging that I experienced with my husband is not the same as my feeling of belonging to God. Yet, I believe that when I step from this life into heaven and see Jesus’ face as He gives me a great big hug, I will experience an even greater love, acceptance, sense of being especially chosen, and a belonging like none I have ever known. I “hear” Bob’s voice telling me today as I have “heard” it many times, “It will be worth it all, Candy. It will be worth it ALL! You are still cherished!  You are still loved! We are HIS and He is ours!”

6 responses

  1. I clicked on the link for this blog by chance. Now I know that it was a divine appointment. Thank you for explaining what I feel but more importantly allowing the Father to use your words to fill that empty spot in my heart with reassurance that I am loved, accepted, and cherished by Him! He does care about me.

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    • Vanessa, that you so much for sharing your thoughts on that particular post. I am so glad that God used it to speak to your heart. If my widow experience can give another widow affirmation and encouragement, then that gives my pain a purpose.

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