His 6th heavenly rebirth day………so hard to believe that this much time has passed. Every morning when I wake up my thoughts of him begin and continue throughout the day until I close my eyes at night. From time to time he enters my very real dreams.
I look back at myself when this life without Bob began and then look at myself now. I’ve changed. No longer am I this timid woman because circumstances have forced me to learn how to stand up for myself. This life has shown me who cares about my well-being and who does not. I’ve discovered that I can make repairs on my own and do so many other things that I had depended solely on Bob to do. I am capable of making very good decisions. I also have wisdom and life experiences that might be helpful to someone else.
My relationship with God has been turned inside out for me to hold up to the light to very carefully take apart and then begin to slowly and methodically put back together again. I’ve found that now that I am widowed and single there is even more time to focus on getting to really find out just who God is. I am so much more aware of His presence in my daily life and I hold on tightly to the promise that He has made to never leave me or forsake me. That promise has become a very valuable and priceless gift because no human can ever make that promise and keep it.
If Bob was able to watch my progress since November 10th, 2009, he would be pleased and would say, “See! I knew you had it in you all the time. I asked you if you were going to be alright because I knew just how much you loved and depended on me and how sensitive your heart is. Yet, I knew that if you dug way down inside of you and would cling to Philippians 4:13 (I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength), you could do life without me. I’m so very proud of you.”
Happy birthday, Bob! My love for you is so much more today than it was when you were here because in hindsight I can more clearly see just how great your love was for me. Wait for me, dear husband! I’ll see you again someday!
Reflections From My Porch Swing 