On January 26, 1995 Patti Broderick became a widow after her husband Mark, a military pilot, was killed in a training accident. This book tells about her journey as she tried to get off the throne and allow God to be God and to free Him to work in her life as only He can do.
Patti shares how she felt after Mark died – “When he died, what I missed the most was the emotional anchoring I felt from a man who knew me better than anyone else did and loved me anyway. I was faced with not just having Mark in my day to day life, but missing Mark in my dreams of the future. Having lost Mark, fears for my children’s lives and my own life inevitably began to encircle me. I began questioning God and the ways in which He cares for me.”
On becoming a single mother, she shares the best advice that she was given by her mother-in-law who told her not to try to be both a mother and father to her children because she simply could not be both. Patti had to make sure that there were men in her children’s lives who cared about them and would teach them some of the things that only a man can.
Patti’s thoughts on hope – “My hope needed to be reconstructed, and I knew from my civil engineering background that any remodeling job is a messy, painful process. When one is remodeling even one small room, the entire house is affected. Even rooms that are closed off and are seemingly immune from the mess get dusty. There was that kind of ripple effect in my life when Mark died. Areas I thought would remain “normal” became messy as well. What God needed to accomplish was an emotional paradigm shift. And what I needed to do was to let Him have free reign in making that shift. Hanging on to my former hope would not help that. My hope and my joy must come from God and the future He had prepared for me even before my birth.”
On the subject of doubts, Patti writes, “..,…doubt sweeps over me more often than I would care to admit. I have found admitting these doubts to God helps me know my relationship with Him is real. This is how I think of my doubts about God; just admitting them to Him alone shows I have faith that He heard them.”
The last word that Mark spoke over his radio was, “PRESS”. Patti used that word to press in to God to find real, practical faith and to press up to see her loss from God’s eyes so that she didn’t miss all He had planned for her through her grief.
Thank you, Patti, for opening your wounded heart to us and imparting all that God has taught you during the lowest point in your life.