I never cease to be amazed at the ways God chooses to speak deeply to my heart. Yesterday was one of those “God moments” and the best way I know how to share that with you is to let my #3 daughter Charity tell you about it in her own words.
“There is a God story behind this picture of two buddies and what Levi (her son and my grandson pictured in orange) is holding in his hand. For the past year Levi has been mowing grass and saving his money to buy an Xbox. In January he received a letter from his buddy M (pictured in black) telling about a missions trip M is taking this summer to tell people about Jesus. Well, Levi comes to me and tells me that he wants to give his buddy all the money he has been saving.
At first I was trying to suggest that he not give all of it but maybe part of it. Then God stopped me in my tracks and told me to get out of the way of what HE was trying to do. OUCH! So, Levi gives the money to his buddy and his buddy’s mom asks me if the money was all from Levi and I share with her how he was saving it, etc. She then shares Levi’s story with M and the next day M tells her that he feels like God wants him to give Levi his own personal Xbox.
Yesterday the exchanging of the Xbox took place and these boys have both seen a huge example of how God works in beautiful, mysterious ways. My words don’t even come close to expressing how God has used these two boys and their giving hearts to speak directly to my heart.”
Charity shared this on Facebook. Now I knew part of the story, but not all of it. Tears immediately rolled down my cheeks as I remembered how much my husband Bob loved missions and missionaries. I shared with Charity how he used to delight in folding up a $50-$100 bill in his hand, walk over to a missionary and shake their hand as he transferred that money to them. None of my daughters had ever known that their dad did that and when Charity relayed that to Levi his response was, “That is why Pa got to go to heaven early”. Now this is something that could only come out of the mouth of a child. Levi is looking at his Pa’s going to heaven early as a reward for him. I would have never ever thought of that, but as I have been mulling this over in my mind since yesterday, I can see the truth of it.
Now I cannot say that the reason Bob went to heaven early was because he loved missionaries and handed out money to them. But, I can say that for whatever reason Bob’s earthly mission and plan that God had for his life was finished and part of that plan had been to love on missionaries in that way. Because he had accepted Jesus Christ as his own personal Savior and chosen to live his life for Christ, his reward at death was life eternal in heaven. Bob got to go to heaven early. What a thought for me to meditate on and chew on for awhile! He got to go to heaven early. It was a privilege and a reward for him.
That’s not the way most widows look at the death of their husband. In our agonizing grief we get so focused on all that we have lost that we cannot pull the curtains of life aside to see that our husbands got to go to heaven. I will admit that at this point I am able to spend 50% of my time focused on how much I miss my husband and 50% of my time focused on wondering about all that he is seeing and doing in heaven. That pendulum swings back and forth.
My grandson Levi has pulled my earthly curtain back for me just a little bit more now and given me a “God glimpse” that I won’t soon forget. Such wisdom out of the mouth of a twelve year old boy that has a giving heart and is listening and doing whatever the Holy Spirit urges him to do. His Pa couldn’t have asked for more in a grandson and his parents who are actively setting the example for their son. How very blessed I am for God to have used this boy to help me see something wonderful about the death of my husband.
Reflections From My Porch Swing 